feelings I

scattered were  all hopes and
when failures were all my way
i carried a broken heart with me too
and when lost were all my smiles


i looked around and still looked around
but no where around were you
far.....as far as my visions reached
i longed you: i longed only you


that shoulder i longed which held my head
those hands i wanted which wiped my tears
that smile i wanted whose one glimpse comforted me
that closeness i wanted for it was only i had with me


i know i too have lacked
i have in taking steps towards you completely
but you too broke me down
and added me with pain
a wound i had and you hit me there again


how weak your relation was 
i wonder now and then
for we were beyond friends
much more than two best friends


you werent among those 
who left things misunderstood
if it was so why do you still talk to him
why do you still try your best
just to make sure everything
happens as before....
you tried your best and still are trying


but why isnt that with me??
why aint i as important as he is??


i know i  am not wrong ; i wasnt wrong then
but you needed no time to distrust me
and you moved away not bothering at all
for you know not how perfect now it would be...


i tried explaining it to you
and you hurt me with your words
i tried making things as before
but all in vain though i tried...
i tried saving us but that was worthless...


few years of togetherness and
 we were to close with time
but now  the paths are different
and nothing can be done


you might think i was wrong so did i explain 
and so did i escaped
but no; no dear
it was the time i required you the most
and u were in your own way


whatever life has given me i accept it with ease
i've learnt how to completely walk alone
and i've known how to be wlone 
and i've known how to be alone!!!