its midnight...ive done my best to keep focusing and keep studying....its glycolysis ive been studying and its like i alz have you in my thoughts whenever i see the topic i remembered you :( (and i literally hate that )....do you remember that one and half hour conversation on our cell we had done so that i would be clear in it...i hated it and i never got it into my head i had tried although but no it wasn't my cup of tea i thought but it actually was...
you called me that afternoon...i was tensed and was panicking...
you: what happened??why do you sound tensed??
me: its glycolysis: ive been trying to get it into my head for 1 hours now and its useless :(
you: its very important for you...you'll require it later too
me: ya i know that and ive done my best and even in class when our teacher used to teach i knew it was really imp and tried to gasp it but i never understood it...
you: okey let's do one thing take out your pen and a note book..
me: are you gonna teach me??
you: i'll tell you everything i know. i guess that will help..
And it really did...today i can solve many mcq's from glycolysis and im really thankful towards you....
people say there is reason for everything in life..many people come into your life and even walk out you too had may reasons but now as im focusing on my studies the best one is : YOU CAME IN MY LIFE TO MAKE ME UNDERSTAND WHAT GLYCOLYSIS REALLY IS...lol :P
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Well, it just takes one sperm to penetrate itself into the egg and nine months of nourishment inside mother’s womb to become a human but is it all??Is that what you are? I; a 19 year old girl merely writing on this vast topic had hurricanes inside her head when I was caught in loneliness; that emptiness in my life made me realize a little of what being human actually is!!
Being human simply understands who you are. It’s accepting yourself the way you are and being your true self rather than emitting others because we all have our own individuality. All of we have a separate loneliness, each greedy ambition, every anger and sadness, each physical or emotional hunger, that’s what we are. Reading this you might be thinking no I am not that but accept it that’s what you are. So first priority is to accept yourself the way you are.
Life hurts all of us in every step we take into it. A few months back I used to think oh! It was better when I was a kid at least skinned knees would hurt less than from loneliness, the confusion, the feelings of failures, despair. But today I realize how wrong I had been then. We are taught many things in school, by our teachers, by our parents at home: we are educated. It’s necessary too we do need skills, we do need education to become a successful doctor, an engineer, a businessman etc. but many of us still haven’t learned how to stop suffering and stop inflicting the sufferings on others. We are taught many things, but rarely is how to deal with the shocks of life hurt. We learn how to escape the pains but how long will it last? So I’ve found out that it all takes an observation; observation about you; our own reaction to what happens to us in pain.
Although it takes time in realizing who you are; what your strengths are what your weakness are but believe me its worth. Most of us in situations unbearable think why me? Why god why do you always give me so much pain? But do we realize it’s not god who has put you into it? Nothing is prewritten and nothing can be re written so you are responsible for whatever you do. Few days’ back I observed two children’s playing and the smaller one fell down .she stood up crying and blamed the other child for making her fall when the other child hadn’t. Her mother scolded the other child. Then I realized that small child is being influenced by her mom supporting her today. The child like that yesterday is the one who is going to play the blame game tomorrow. Isn’t it affecting us? Although there are times when we are even affected by the people that exist in our life by their actions too but so are they affected by some of our acts.
It hurts when you have a battle between your mind and heart. It drives us to pain and at our age most of the sufferings come from failures, people not understanding what we want, love, friendship, etc. I always wished in my early teens to have an angel by my side who would guide me in trouble and then things would be fine. (That was mostly the affect of SON PARI I watched during my childhood though) but now I realize that angel is better in the fairy tales rather than in my life and I am my angel myself. Because it’s me who have to face my life; it’s me who has to walk every path of my life; its mw who has to smile and even shed tears when things aren’t fine.
All of us have family, friends. Some of us may even have boyfriend/ girlfriend and these people are always there for us but how long?? We have our parents who have always been there for us till today they are n they will even be there when ever we need them tomorrow but at one point of time you will realize that you cant no longer give them burden. Friend is always there for us in our lives but they too have their life to handle their own problems. Boyfriends/ girlfriends they too are their but how long? There are many ups and downs in a relationship and future isn’t predictable either. What counts at last are the moments you’ve lived and the memories you’ve lived. What after that? What when you are completely alone in life? You have loads of friend to hang out, your parents, your siblings and you still can’t figure out why is there emptiness?
Haven’t you felt an urge to run to someone and cry all our tears out? That’s because you are always habituated to people and are unaware of yourself. What we all do when that emptiness scratched our soul is call up friends have a gathering try to chill out but how long? How long will you avoid that loneliness? At the end of the day after every one is away and time comes for you to be on your own what answer will you give to yourself? We have always been lacking in this very part of our life. We have time for everything and everyone but not our own selves?? Do we?
So the conclusion here is love the people who are there in your lives let them love you. Have friends gathering chill out but above everything give yourself time in life. Give yourself time learn who you really are. Some of us might think no this might be being selfish but it’s impossible not to be.
Be selfish, impatient and a little insecure, make mistakes, and learn from them. Be out of control and at times hard to handle…be yourself and keep one thing in mind people who love you wont have problem with it and those that have its really doesn’t matter…does it??
how dare you???
How dare you come back?
Come back in my memories
Who are you to haunt me in my dreams?
I’ve already blurred the images of u I had in me
And every time you pop-up and
Destroy the peace of mind
How do I forget those hundred yesterdays?
I’ve survived faking smiles to everyone
How do I forget that particular day?
When I was made realized
How insane I had been
How do I forget those teary eyes nights
When I realized all those moments I’ve lived
With you were just fallacies
How do I forget those forlorn days?
This has already been carved
On the pages of my life...
I can’t forsake that I always ended up with tears
And there were no shoulders to lean on
No hands to wipe my tears
No voices to comfort me
I’ve lived those days
With the emptiness scratching my soul
Locking my heart firmly today
I’m stepping towards tomorrow
But tomorrow really daunts me more
For I know how hardly I’ve gained
The smile back, the peace back
I’ve gained myself back again
i've seen her
I’ve seen her :entirely I have
Ive seen her blubber at times
Ive seen her simper too
And believe me I’ve seen her
Fight her emotions those
Puzzling situation she had been in
I;ve seen her in amour
Those glamorous days she’s lived
Ive seen her maudlin when she was truly in love
Ive seen her wave him adieu
When her love wasn’t enough to make him stay
Ive sen her stare into the vault of heaven
Wid eyes full of hope
When there was no way out
I’ve heard her yell out in pain
When she was feeble about
The cracks her heart faced
Ive seen her hugging herself tight
When people she was close to
Left her misunderstood
Ive seen her punishing herself
When people didn’t even give a try
To make things better
Ive seen her cherish those
Moments that left her smiling
Ive seen that vivacity sparkling
In her eyes when she did it
Ive seen that valiant effort
She has put to accomplish her dreams
Two decades I’ve been with her
Every little moment she had
Ive shared all those with her
And this morning when I saw her
She was still the same
The same “ ME”
Making sure if I was still there!!!!!!
Friday, June 24, 2011
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