happy independance to a girl i knew !!!!!

you tried…you cried….

U died too often still breathing

You smiled when he smiled

Even with a heavy heart….

You cared…you dared….

You broke ur heart often

Sleepless nights, wet pillow

And still longed his glimpse….

He left….he came…

He left and now forever

U tried….you cried….

U died too often still breathing

Waved him goodbyes…teary eyes

Heartless crap he certainly was

How easy it alz was to him

feelings were seasons to him

he left….u cried…..

u hoped he cud come back

but  how silly of you grl

he didn’t ever deserved you

U tried….you cried….

U died too often still breathing

Free ur heart and let it breathe

Smiles smiles yup u look pretty

Cheer up and  live wild…

Happie indepence to u girl

Set ur self freeeeeeee

U tried….you cried….

U died too often still breathing

You cared…you dared….

You broke ur heart often……

snap -I

just a remainder you still give me butterflies.........

you cud have said it all....

Rainy day and rain drops falling around....

a chilly wind blew fast: trembling my hair....

rain drops when stroked my face & down it dropped....

pit-pat the street was hit still silence gasped me..

he passed by holding her hands...

no doubt love was in the air..

my heart pounding hard & a shedding teardrop...

though smile was still all my way...

walked in the street; strangers passing by...

unusual loneliness grabbed me....

flashing memories & tickling heart...

yes it was all that i carried...

drizzling rain and silent wind...

walking down the lane you and me...

warmth of your hands when i had in mine...

and the depth of love we could feel...

the steps we took down the street...

talking allot and laughing loud...

looking in my eyes when you sang softly...

a lovely feeling i certainly had...

probably you still have the same smile...

and sing those silent songs more softly...

you still joke and talk allot....

though its only with me in memories....

thought we were together forever...

happy and so in love...

but stupid you proved me dear...

tearing me apart and breaking me down...

you lastly abandoned me...

waved you goodbye for happy you were...

in choosing different path than mine...

it wasn't hard at all dear.. definitely not...

you could have said you never loved me....

A winner one day

walking down the lane;shunning those pass by

my afflictive heart bellowed trying to push

push the walls apart;so apart that it could escape from me

for it has always been languished in me

my feeble minds wants me to help it too

exasperated it yells out in pain every time

and all there is left is me shrugged

for i cant decide which one of you to believe

i slumbered loathsomely for i cant withstand it

i cant hear you both shriek in agony

what should i do??dead silence around and

I'm yelling in pain...for I'm mostly shunned

With the dilemma and a voice unclear…

I still continue dragging myself to my destiny…

Far somewhere while on foot down there

I believe an answer loud and lucid will be mine….

Yes it will be mine and smirking to those

Who snubbed me…watch out I will then be

A winner…yes certainly for it’s my faith to win that will

Make me winner that day…

yes a winner who won because I was meant to…

feelings I

scattered were  all hopes and
when failures were all my way
i carried a broken heart with me too
and when lost were all my smiles


i looked around and still looked around
but no where around were you
far.....as far as my visions reached
i longed you: i longed only you


that shoulder i longed which held my head
those hands i wanted which wiped my tears
that smile i wanted whose one glimpse comforted me
that closeness i wanted for it was only i had with me


i know i too have lacked
i have in taking steps towards you completely
but you too broke me down
and added me with pain
a wound i had and you hit me there again


how weak your relation was 
i wonder now and then
for we were beyond friends
much more than two best friends


you werent among those 
who left things misunderstood
if it was so why do you still talk to him
why do you still try your best
just to make sure everything
happens as before....
you tried your best and still are trying


but why isnt that with me??
why aint i as important as he is??


i know i  am not wrong ; i wasnt wrong then
but you needed no time to distrust me
and you moved away not bothering at all
for you know not how perfect now it would be...


i tried explaining it to you
and you hurt me with your words
i tried making things as before
but all in vain though i tried...
i tried saving us but that was worthless...


few years of togetherness and
 we were to close with time
but now  the paths are different
and nothing can be done


you might think i was wrong so did i explain 
and so did i escaped
but no; no dear
it was the time i required you the most
and u were in your own way


whatever life has given me i accept it with ease
i've learnt how to completely walk alone
and i've known how to be wlone 
and i've known how to be alone!!!

shayari - I

suni jindagi mein swor huwe

hulchul jaise kuch mehesus huwe

dil jor se dhadakta huwa mila

kyon ki apki aahetein mehesus huwe!!!

dekh kar aapko khowe huwe hum mile

aaur bechen in aakhon mein nami mehesus huwe

saamne the hum par apne andekha kiya 

toh pal var mein hi chere pe udasi mehesus huwe!!!

aaj phir jab khud ko ajnabi hote huwe dekha 

itne logon ke bich sach mein ajnabi mehesus huwe

kach ki tarha dil toota huwa paya jab

berang jindagi ki maut mehesus huwe !!!!!!

verse - I

looking up at the hook
Up there on my ceiling
With stressful eyes
And choking voice
I keep wondering
how does it take me?
And how would it feel
On my tying knot with it?

tears 'o' tears

tears 'o' tears be happie now
For i wont let you fall for him

Smile,sing, dance and enjoy
For he was a stain in lyf
And ive erased him you see

Tears 'o' tears you wont complain now
For i wont waste you again like i did....

your memories - I

its midnight...ive done my best to keep focusing and keep studying....its glycolysis ive  been studying and its like i alz have you in my thoughts whenever i see the topic  i remembered  you :( (and i literally hate that )....do you remember that one and half hour conversation on our cell we had done so that i would be clear in it...i hated it and i never got it into my head i had tried although but no it wasn't my cup of tea i thought but it actually was...

you called me that afternoon...i was tensed and was panicking...

you: what happened??why do you sound tensed??
me: its glycolysis: ive been trying to get it into my head for 1 hours now and its useless :(
you: its very important for you...you'll require it later too
me: ya i know that and ive done my best and even in class when our teacher used to teach i knew it was really imp and tried to gasp it but i never understood it...
you: okey let's do one thing take out your pen and a note book..
me: are you gonna teach me??
you: i'll tell you everything i know. i guess that will help..

And it really did...today i can solve many mcq's  from glycolysis and im really thankful towards you....

people say there is reason for everything in life..many people come into your life and even walk out you too had may reasons but now as im focusing on my studies the best one is : YOU CAME IN MY LIFE TO MAKE ME UNDERSTAND WHAT GLYCOLYSIS REALLY IS...lol :P

Have you ever questioned why are you yourself? What I mean here is do you realize what being human is?
Well, it just takes one sperm to penetrate itself into the egg and nine months of nourishment inside mother’s womb to become a human but is it all??Is that what you are? I; a 19 year old girl merely writing on this vast topic had hurricanes inside her head when I was caught in loneliness; that emptiness in my life made me realize a little of what being human actually is!!

Being human simply understands who you are. It’s accepting yourself the way you are and being your true self rather than emitting others because we all have our own individuality. All of we have a separate loneliness, each greedy ambition, every anger and sadness, each physical or emotional hunger, that’s what we are. Reading this you might be thinking no I am not that but accept it that’s what you are. So first priority is to accept yourself the way you are.
Life hurts all of us in every step we take into it. A few months back I used to think oh! It was better when I was a kid at least skinned knees would hurt less than from loneliness, the confusion, the feelings of failures, despair. But today I realize how wrong I had been then. We are taught many things in school, by our teachers, by our parents at home: we are educated. It’s necessary too we do need skills, we do need education to become a successful doctor, an engineer, a businessman etc. but many of us still haven’t learned how to stop suffering and stop inflicting the sufferings on others. We are taught many things, but rarely is how to deal with the shocks of life hurt. We learn how to escape the pains but how long will it last? So I’ve found out that it all takes an observation; observation about you; our own reaction to what happens to us in pain.

Although it takes time in realizing who you are; what your strengths are what your weakness are but believe me its worth. Most of us in situations unbearable think why me? Why god why do you always give me so much pain? But do we realize it’s not god who has put you into it? Nothing is prewritten and nothing can be re written so you are responsible for whatever you do. Few days’ back I observed two children’s playing and the smaller one fell down .she stood up crying and blamed the other child for making her fall when the other child hadn’t. Her mother scolded the other child. Then I realized that small child is being influenced by her mom supporting her today. The child like that yesterday is the one who is going to play the blame game tomorrow. Isn’t it affecting us? Although there are times when we are even affected by the people that exist in our life by their actions too but so are they affected by some of our acts.
It hurts when you have a battle between your mind and heart. It drives us to pain and at our age most of the sufferings come from failures, people not understanding what we want, love, friendship, etc. I always wished in my early teens to have an angel by my side who would guide me in trouble and then things would be fine. (That was mostly the affect of SON PARI I watched during my childhood though) but now I realize that angel is better in the fairy tales rather than in my life and I am my angel myself. Because it’s me who have to face my life; it’s me who has to walk every path of my life; its mw who has to smile and even shed tears when things aren’t fine.
All of us have family, friends. Some of us may even have boyfriend/ girlfriend and these people are always there for us but how long?? We have our parents who have always been there for us till today they are n they will even be there when ever we need them tomorrow but at one point of time you will realize that you cant no longer give them burden. Friend is always there for us in our lives but they too have their life to handle their own problems. Boyfriends/ girlfriends they too are their but how long? There are many ups and downs in a relationship and future isn’t predictable either. What counts at last are the moments you’ve lived and the memories you’ve lived. What after that? What when you are completely alone in life? You have loads of friend to hang out, your parents, your siblings and you still can’t figure out why is there emptiness?
Haven’t you felt an urge to run to someone and cry all our tears out? That’s because you are always habituated to people and are unaware of yourself. What we all do when that emptiness scratched our soul is call up friends have a gathering try to chill out but how long? How long will you avoid that loneliness? At the end of the day after every one is away and time comes for you to be on your own what answer will you give to yourself? We have always been lacking in this very part of our life. We have time for everything and everyone but not our own selves?? Do we?

So the conclusion here is love the people who are there in your lives let them love you. Have friends gathering chill out but above everything give yourself time in life. Give yourself time learn who you really are. Some of us might think no this might be being selfish but it’s impossible not to be.




Be selfish, impatient and a little insecure, make mistakes, and learn from them. Be out of control and at times hard to handle…be yourself and keep one thing in mind people who love you wont have problem with it and those that have its really doesn’t matter…does it??

how dare you???

How dare you come back?

Come back in my memories

Who are you to haunt me in my dreams?

I’ve already blurred the images of u I had in me

And every time you pop-up and

Destroy the peace of mind

How do I forget those hundred yesterdays?

I’ve survived faking smiles to everyone

How do I forget that particular day?

When I was made realized

How insane I had been

How do I forget those teary eyes nights

When I realized all those moments I’ve lived

With you were just fallacies

How do I forget those forlorn days?

This has already been carved

On the pages of my life...

I can’t forsake that I always ended up with tears

And there were no shoulders to lean on

No hands to wipe my tears

No voices to comfort me

I’ve lived those days

With the emptiness scratching my soul

Locking my heart firmly today

I’m stepping towards tomorrow

But tomorrow really daunts me more

For I know how hardly I’ve gained

The smile back, the peace back

I’ve gained myself back again

i've seen her

I’ve seen her :entirely I have

Ive seen her blubber at times

Ive seen her simper too

And believe me I’ve seen her

Fight her emotions  those

Puzzling situation she had been in

I;ve seen her in amour

Those glamorous days she’s lived

Ive seen her maudlin when she was truly in love

Ive seen her wave him adieu

When her love wasn’t enough to make him stay

Ive sen her stare into the vault of heaven

 Wid eyes full of hope

When there was no way out

I’ve heard her yell out in pain

When she was feeble  about

The cracks her heart faced

Ive seen her hugging herself tight

When people she was close to

Left her misunderstood

Ive seen her punishing herself

When people didn’t even give a try

To make things better

Ive seen her cherish those

Moments that left her smiling

Ive seen that vivacity sparkling

In her eyes when she did it

Ive seen that valiant effort

She has put to accomplish her dreams

Two decades I’ve been with her

Every little moment she had

Ive shared all those with her

And this morning when I saw her

She was still the same

The same “ ME”

Making sure if  I was still there!!!!!!

Learning how to breathe again…